(long endured sigh)...

i love teen shows... but i hate when they have to add in some time or another where one of the girls on the show has to accidentally get pregnant... and it actually bothers me, because for 2 reasons... 1. is because everytime they show it, its the same thing...pretty much the guy leaves when the girl wont abort the baby. 2.because it makes me think, would my mom have tried to abort me? and its a question i've always asked myself...and i wish i had someone to relate on this... because all my friends have either married or divorced parents,but that was a different cause, like i cant talk to them bout it...the reason mine arent together is because they dropped me with my dad's parents and my mom was now gone from the picture...i've gotta tell you though livin with my grandparents could've been the best thing in my life that happened to me, but it wouldve been nice to have both of them in my life at once... now DO NOT get me wrong, i LOVE my stepmom...she's the most amazin person in my life right now, and always will be...and i know she knows it, she did all she could to fill that empty space in my life since i was a kid, and i'm grateful for that everyday of my life.

but you highschool born kids are not alone... it hurts... A LOT... it makes you feel like youre different, like it's your fault that your parents broke up, or something of the sort. but its not our fault our parents weren't careful and didn't use protection. but if they didnt then we amazin people wouldnt be here... just never think that's it our fault...

lovage to ya,
my people!

valentines flowers....

uuggghhhh..... valentine's day kills me...not just because its an annoyin holiday, but because the dude i like is one of my good friends, and he doesnt even realize it...i dont know how more obvious it could be??!!! ooohhh.... swear dudes are genetically programmed not to understand girl hints, except the gay ones haha like a bestie of mine, and he's amazin :) but this guy i'm talkin bout is clueless to how i feel... :/
lovage to ya!

sports....continued...

so i'm really excited for soccer...everyone freaked out, good freak out...but i'm just really nervous bout the season..yea

decisions....

hey yall...well i made a crazy big decision today... its not that i had to choose one or the other, its just that i couldnt have done both...i dont think my mental stability couldve taken it...i had to choose to play soccer with my highschool, or do the spring musical... and i LOVE BOTH sports and the arts...but sometimes i feel like my family doesnt get that i love both...and i want to do both, but today i had to make a choice which one i would do,because i knowi would have to choose just one... so i chose soccer... not because there was a huge PRESSURE put upon my shoulders to play but the fact i missed it after so long without playin... though i was lookin forward to havin a bigger role this year in the spring musical... (long dramatic sigh) i guess i'm glad i chose what chose...and i could tell my dad was proud,and that's all i could ask for... i guess we'll see how it works out...
lovage to ya..

sports....

ok yall.... so this is how it goes down... my family are huge sports people... through my 16 years of life i have transitioned from soccer to volleyball to softball...we are very competitive. and dont get me wrong i love playin sports, because i'm a VERY comptitive person also. i do whatever it takes to be #1. to be the shinnin one once and a while...because once you see how fast i catch on to a sport, i shine. not tryin to be conceited. because i'm really not. but after my recent softball season ended some of my friends tried to hastle me bout playin soccer again...and i loved soccer foever!!! i still love it, but when some how i dont know, i feel like i'm not good enough anymore to play in highschool. because all i did before was a traveling team called "the patriots" who are now the bulls which is kiinda stupid, and is a competitor of my little sisters' team who is arsenal...but as everyone knows any sport in highschool is very competitive to get into than it is for club team. in a way i'm kind of excited about it.... uuggghhhh....

lovage to ya!

really????

ok yall, so we all know the story of "oh my gosh i really like this guy! but he's completely oblivious..." well that same story is happenin now...ole boy is completely oblivious to the fact i like him...he is one of my really good friends but dang it if he cant see whats right in front of him....

speaking of the game of love valentines day is comin up...and im still lonely...yyyeeeaaaaa....
but its not all that bad...ill find that awesome dude one day....but can it be a little sooner?
lovage to ya!